i think my mom watched the whole time
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
