I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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