It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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