i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize