She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Randomize
