until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
