I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
