I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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