She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
