I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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