I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
