In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
