I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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