that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
