Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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