i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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