my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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