Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
