I heard we made out
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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