Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
