we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
