I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
