is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
i now understand why vodka
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
