There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
