i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
