At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
