i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
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