Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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