Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
sarcasm needs its own font
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Congratulations! We have a period
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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