so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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