i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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