I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
MIDGETS
????
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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