the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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