My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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