Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
