Ambien. No doubt about it.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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