idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
