You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Randomize
