I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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