Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
