Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
