I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
