I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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