try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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