I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
