kristin has been a bad kristin
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
you would pick up someone in the library
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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