remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Four minutes until I can fart!
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
