My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
