All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
