We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Randomize
