Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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