Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
