u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
