His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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