Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize