They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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