Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
