you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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