Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
