A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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