That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
