Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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