idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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