what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
